“You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood."
"What mood is that?"
"Last-minute panic.”

- Calvin & Hobbes

"I never expect anything to happen now, and so I am never disappointed. You would be surprised to know what my great events are. Going to the theatre yesterday, talking to you now - I don't suppose I shall ever meet anything greater. I seem fated to pass through the world without colliding with it or moving it - and I'm sure I can't tell you whether the fate's good or evil. I don't die - I don't fall in love. And if other people die or fall in love they always do it when I'm just not there. You are quite right; life to me is just a spectacle..."

- E. M. Forster

"Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's."

- Lester Burnham, American Beauty

"This is rather as if you imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'this is an interesting world I find myself in - an interesting hole I find myself in - fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!' this is such a powerful idea that as the sun rises in the sky and the air heats up and as, gradually, the puddle gets smaller and smaller, it's still frantically hanging on to the notion that everything's going to be alright, because this world was meant to have him in it, was built to have him in it; so the moment he disappears catches him rather by surprise. I think this may be something we need to be on the watch out for."

- Douglas Adams

I don't consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin.

- Leonard Cohen

"You just wanna be you, isn't it?"
"Isn't it though?"
"Isn't it."
"I am always myself and I don't care what anyone says because this is me: "I'm myself", and I am always me and that's what I am."
"That's so true cuz some people aren't themselves they're like someone else or something and they're not them."
"I like it when we talk about the deep stuff."

- Armstrong & Miller, WWII RAF Airmen Sketch

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. And you will be happy."

- Stephen Fry

"...Just because he doesn't know what is written on a piece of paper, doesn't mean he can't be wise."

- Kingdom (S1E4)

"Now you may ask yourself, 'Is that a talking tennis ball on a stick?' In a way, yes. But. Let's not forget that's how many great adventures started. For example... ehmm. Ehmm. The aeroplane. The aeroplane was originally a tennis ball at the end of a stick. Unfortunately, it was aerodynamically... worthless. Soon, they changed from the tennis-ball-at-the-end-of-a-stick technology to a wing! That's when things started to really heat up.
...You may realize by now that I have absolutely nothing (to say)."

- Craig Ferguson, warming up the audience while playing with a tennis ball on a stick (2/12/2009)

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be Awesome Instead. True Story."

- Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother

"Buzz, buzz."

- Hamlet, Act Two, Scene Two.

"Oh yeah. 'Oooh, ahhh', that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and screaming."

- Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park II: The Lost World

"I am experiencing humiliation. Blood boiling, anger rising up, ready to explode...! then falling back in on myself in the familiar shower of self-loathing. Hmmm-mm. Warm copies make everything better."

- Mark from Peep Show, S02E05

"You can't go around London asking people to pretend to be Gussie Fink-Nottle... Well, you can, I suppose. But what a hell of a life."

- P. G. Wodehouse

"Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck! Fuck, fuck and bugger! Bugger, bugger, buggerty buggerty buggerty, fuck, fuck, arse! Balls, balls... fuckity, shit, shit, fuck and willy. Willy, shit and fuck and... tits."

- King George VI, The King's Speech

"Drapes, old man."

- Jim to George from A Single Man

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

- J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

"Hey, chief, I might be wrong, but I think we're flying into a mountain. This makes me feel... scared of the mountain. One thing we could do is pull up and fly over the mountain. How does that sound to..." [makes a crashing noise as of a plane flying into a mountain.]

- First officer Douglas Richardson, Cabin Pressure: Ipswich

Mycroft: "My brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher and yet he elects to be a detective. What might we deduce about his heart?"

John: "I don't know."

Mycroft: "Neither do I. But initially, he wanted to be a pirate."

- Sherlock: A Scandal in Belgravia